A live status claim
Green tick, up. Red cross, down. The display is confident and the underlying claim cannot be made.
Bucket: NEVER
A page cannot tell you an onion address is reachable right now. It can tell you that a machine somewhere got a response at some earlier moment. Those are different statements and the gap between them is not small.
Three separate reasons
Time. Any check happened before you read it. Whether that is a minute or an hour, the state may have changed, and the page has no way to know that it has.
Vantage point. Reachability over Tor is a property of a path, not of a service. A checker with its own circuits and its own luck learns about its own connection. Yours is different, built through different relays, and may succeed or fail independently.
Meaning. Up is not a defined state. A service can accept a connection and serve errors. It can load the front page and fail at login. A checker that fetched something and got bytes back will call that up, and it may be useless to you.
Why the numbers are worse than the ticks
A percentage implies a measurement programme. Sampling interval, timeout policy, retry behaviour, what counted as a success, how long the window was. Almost no page showing an uptime figure states any of that, and without it the number cannot be interpreted at all.
A figure like 98.7 percent looks like data because of the decimal. The decimal is doing rhetorical work. If the underlying method is not published, the precision is decoration.
What people get wrong
They treat a status page as an oracle about the service. It is at best a log of one observer's experience. Two honest status pages can disagree at the same instant without either being wrong, because they are describing different paths.
They also read a stale green tick as reassurance and a stale red cross as a verdict. The red cross has the same problem in reverse and causes more damage, because it sends people looking for a replacement awazon market link they would not otherwise have needed.
Why this site shows nothing
Because we would have to connect to the addresses to have anything to show, and we do not. No probing, no timing, no last checked date. The addresses on the address page are published as strings, and their state is something you determine yourself by trying.
That is less useful than a status board appears to be and exactly as useful as a status board actually is.
What would move this
Nothing about the claim as written, since the time gap is not removable. A narrower claim can be made honestly. A page could say what it observed, from where, at a stated time, with a stated method. That is a statement about the past and it is legitimate. It just is not what a green tick communicates.
Questions people actually ask
Why is there no status board on this site?
Because building one would mean connecting to the addresses, and any result would describe our path at a past moment rather than your path now.
Is a status page ever useful?
As a record of what one observer saw, with the method stated. As a claim about right now, no.